It’s that time again. Welcome to the second rendition of…


This time, we have the captain of the Black Pearl, and protagonist of the Pirates of the Caribbean series Jack Sparrow facing off against the leader of Halloween Town, yearning to bring Christmas joy to all, the protagonist of Nightmare Before Christmas, Jack Skellington!

The Battle





Jack Sparrow:

In steps forth the greatest captain ever known
Who’s ready to sink this slim pile of bone
You're known from Kentucky to England and France
But when it comes to world renown, the Pearl will win this dance
For no army can chase me, I'm a real buccaneer
When they find your sleigh flying, you crash, so we all hear
Your only companion’s an imaginary friend
And you left him, but I take mine to every end.
Hispaniola to Saint-Martin, with Elizabeth and Will
Mr. Gibbs, Marty, and some other people still
I hope that you'll look on your “life” and find it dumb
Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time to find some rum.

Jack Skellington:

What’s this? A drunken pirate here?
Oh my! How you shall quake in fear!
Don't cross paths with the pumpkin king
I'll make you scream until your ears will ring
All I wanted was to spread joy to all children.
Your mission’s to plunder, pillage and loot in the ocean
That's a lyrical snowball, as if you'd ever seen one.
I've got Santa on my side, while you burn in the sun
You would let your crew die when you found any trouble
Halloween Town’s not human, so we’ll survive double

Jack Sparrow:

Only double? My crew did not face death!
We had no doubt we would not take our last breath
If you want to fight about life, why not go see Finkelstein?
He’ll make the life you lack, because you didn't notice last time
I'll keep you Cursed like the Dead Man’s Chest,
Toss you to the World’s End where Stranger Tides will not rest
Your movie’s so dead, it can’t even Tell a Tale
I'm in theaters every year, time to film, gotta bail.

Jack Skellington:

My film’s purity has yet to be threatened
By the armada of sequels tacked on to the end
Your laziness reminds me of a guy named Oogie Boogie
Who had three children do his evil, while he gambled all his money
You're a scoundrel, villain, knave, and bilge rat
Ruining the lives of the king’s subjects with your stupid hat.
If it weren't for piracy, your rum would clear your bank.
We've parlayed long enough, it’s time for you to walk the plank!

Who won?

The poll was created at 20:00 on May 20, 2017, and so far 21 people voted.

Be sure to leave your thoughts in the comments below! If you have any suggestions, let me know!

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